Re-Introduction
Alright, alright, there's one more thing that needs to be done before we can get back to business as usual; I've got to get everyone up to speed on my Junior Year.
This past May, we closed the door to Suite 3100 in Park Hall and turned in our keys. Though Chaz, Vlad and I had agreed, earlier in the semester, to room together this year, certain unforseeable and unexplained events have led Chaz to seek housing off-campus. Alfonzo, it should be noted, knew from the outset that he would be living, alone, in an apartment off Delmar. Given his disposition towards disappearing for days, or even weeks, at a time, I can't truthfully say that I will miss having him around; however, his participation on the Blog is not contingent on his living with me and Vlad.
(....the dust clears....)
And then, there were three.
(....tumbleweed....)
Or rather, six.
The peculiar condition that the blog finds itself in is one of identity-shattering displacement. Where, before, exactly two-thirds of the BlogFam lived in Suite 3100 of Park Hall. At present moment, to the best of my knowledge, none of the members of the BlogFam currently reside in a location called "Suite 3100". In fact, exactly two-thirds of the BlogFam lives in houses or apartments located off of their respective campuses.
The plan had been for Chaz, Vlad and me to move into Greenway--school-provided apartment-esque housing located just North of campus--but Chaz's abdication coincided with a stastical error on the part of the University; namely, more accepted students decided to come to Wash U than the school actually has room for. One of the many consequences of this mistake was that our three-bedroom quasi-apartment was given to a group of three, rather than our gimpy group of two. All freshman being designated a room, and all other rooms having been filled, Vlad and I were told that there was no place for us on campus, and that we'd have to seek shelter elsewhere.
Tragic, isn't it?
As it should happen, the oft-mentioned Brody was experiencing housing difficulties of his own. There was some sort of chain e-mail bounced between Brody and his suitemates (you might remember his gaggle of Engineers; the party-throwers; find them on facebook or something) which piled one too many straws onto poor Brody's back. Through means which I have no intention of explaining, I have obtained and edited this e-mail for your consumption.
-"Oh yeah, Brody, your mom says hi. Shes saying something else but I cant make it out-shes in the shower right now."
-"So much for Italy making Brody classier. Oh well. Maybe he'll come home with a sweet sports car."
-"You talk clearer than you write. And I usually don't understand a damn thing
you say."
"Thats what I told Brody's mom after I unloaded in her mouth"
-"But if it'll keep the semen off of your glasses, Brody, I suppose it'll work fine."
-Brody : "I have yet to stick a potato in Alfonzo's tailpipe."
Lenny : "I should hope so. I only hope he can say the same about your mother."
-"Here's your word of the day: "Owndizzleified"
As in: I totally owndizzleified Brody's Mom last night.
Or: A bunch of teenage girls completely owndizzleified Brody at Halo."
-"Oh yeah...it's Brody's fault. Fucker. Next time I see you, BOOM! HEADSHOT!"
The Summer's abuses mounted, and Brody decided he wasn't going to take it anymore. He worked in secret, finding 5 guys who were willing to live with him. It was at this point that Brody and I communicated for the first time since early May.
He asked, specifically, if Chaz and I would like to live with him and 5 strangers. It should be noted that he had no reason to assume that Chaz and I wouldn't be living with Vlad and Alfonzo again. I told him my own situation and he agreed to take Vlad in place of Chaz. In the space of an afternoon, Brody seceeded from his suite, registered our suite, and bumped his ex-suitemates out by the same principle of priority that made homeless men of me and Vlad.
So, long story short, I'm living with five guys you've never heard of, one you've heard a little too much about, and Vladimir. I'll introduce the guys formally some other time. This post is it's own, and should be kept separate from that.
Good night, I guess.
-Alan
This past May, we closed the door to Suite 3100 in Park Hall and turned in our keys. Though Chaz, Vlad and I had agreed, earlier in the semester, to room together this year, certain unforseeable and unexplained events have led Chaz to seek housing off-campus. Alfonzo, it should be noted, knew from the outset that he would be living, alone, in an apartment off Delmar. Given his disposition towards disappearing for days, or even weeks, at a time, I can't truthfully say that I will miss having him around; however, his participation on the Blog is not contingent on his living with me and Vlad.
(....the dust clears....)
And then, there were three.
(....tumbleweed....)
Or rather, six.
The peculiar condition that the blog finds itself in is one of identity-shattering displacement. Where, before, exactly two-thirds of the BlogFam lived in Suite 3100 of Park Hall. At present moment, to the best of my knowledge, none of the members of the BlogFam currently reside in a location called "Suite 3100". In fact, exactly two-thirds of the BlogFam lives in houses or apartments located off of their respective campuses.
The plan had been for Chaz, Vlad and me to move into Greenway--school-provided apartment-esque housing located just North of campus--but Chaz's abdication coincided with a stastical error on the part of the University; namely, more accepted students decided to come to Wash U than the school actually has room for. One of the many consequences of this mistake was that our three-bedroom quasi-apartment was given to a group of three, rather than our gimpy group of two. All freshman being designated a room, and all other rooms having been filled, Vlad and I were told that there was no place for us on campus, and that we'd have to seek shelter elsewhere.
Tragic, isn't it?
As it should happen, the oft-mentioned Brody was experiencing housing difficulties of his own. There was some sort of chain e-mail bounced between Brody and his suitemates (you might remember his gaggle of Engineers; the party-throwers; find them on facebook or something) which piled one too many straws onto poor Brody's back. Through means which I have no intention of explaining, I have obtained and edited this e-mail for your consumption.
-"Oh yeah, Brody, your mom says hi. Shes saying something else but I cant make it out-shes in the shower right now."
-"So much for Italy making Brody classier. Oh well. Maybe he'll come home with a sweet sports car."
-"You talk clearer than you write. And I usually don't understand a damn thing
you say."
"Thats what I told Brody's mom after I unloaded in her mouth"
-"But if it'll keep the semen off of your glasses, Brody, I suppose it'll work fine."
-Brody : "I have yet to stick a potato in Alfonzo's tailpipe."
Lenny : "I should hope so. I only hope he can say the same about your mother."
-"Here's your word of the day: "Owndizzleified"
As in: I totally owndizzleified Brody's Mom last night.
Or: A bunch of teenage girls completely owndizzleified Brody at Halo."
-"Oh yeah...it's Brody's fault. Fucker. Next time I see you, BOOM! HEADSHOT!"
The Summer's abuses mounted, and Brody decided he wasn't going to take it anymore. He worked in secret, finding 5 guys who were willing to live with him. It was at this point that Brody and I communicated for the first time since early May.
He asked, specifically, if Chaz and I would like to live with him and 5 strangers. It should be noted that he had no reason to assume that Chaz and I wouldn't be living with Vlad and Alfonzo again. I told him my own situation and he agreed to take Vlad in place of Chaz. In the space of an afternoon, Brody seceeded from his suite, registered our suite, and bumped his ex-suitemates out by the same principle of priority that made homeless men of me and Vlad.
So, long story short, I'm living with five guys you've never heard of, one you've heard a little too much about, and Vladimir. I'll introduce the guys formally some other time. This post is it's own, and should be kept separate from that.
Good night, I guess.
-Alan
posted by Alan Orlanski at 1:39 AM
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